I work in an industry that places a high value on face-to-face interactions, which made me more attuned to Amanda Palmer‘s recent TED talk, “The Art of Asking.” What struck me was the natural notion of making a human connection to receive and give.

“…through the very act of asking people, I’d connected with them, and when you connect with them, people want to help you” she said.

In the industry I’m in, this is most often accomplished through a format called an “un-conference.” Basically, people gather in small groups to discuss problems and search for solutions to challenges. As you can guess, it’s quite popular, primarily because it’s interactive and because of the face-to-face networking.

That networking is nothing, though, if you’re afraid to ask for help. I think that’s why smaller groups work so well. A large, lecture-style situation is intimidating, whereas, a small group gathering is comforting.

Technology is helping this process, Palmer says. Sure, we may be part of a large group, but the weird thing is that we can feel connected more than ever using the Internet. Maybe it’s just me; I feel like I have more of a chance of communication with a celebrity (use that term loosely) through social media than I do at a huge event.

“Celebrity is about a lot of people loving you from a distance, but the Internet and the content that we’re freely able to share on it are taking us back,” Palmer said. “It’s about a few people loving you up close and about those people being enough.”

Technology can only go so far. It’s a means to an end, and that destination is face-to-face interaction.

“Now, the online tools to make the exchange as easy and as instinctive as the street, they’re getting there,” Palmer said. “But the perfect tools aren’t going to help us if we can’t face each other and give and receive fearlessly, but more important, to ask without shame.”

This brings me to my main point: There’s no reason to meet face-to-face if we’re passive in our interactions. The days of lecture learning are waning. We’re not going to solve problems, find solutions, or change directions if we’re just sitting, nodding our heads and crossing our arms. To me, that’s Palmer’s main point. Even if she is focusing on music, the overall soul of her speech is about enacting change in giver and receiver. That can’t be accomplished by one party being passive. Both need to be active.

Please watch her TED talk, and let me know what you think about it in the comments below